last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
