How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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