have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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