I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
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I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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