She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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