I think i sorta joined a cult last night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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