Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
