quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
