Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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