Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
