found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
