Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
one might say we're banned from that church
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
