I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
