Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
