So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
