What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
