her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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