Ambien. No doubt about it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
