her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
