So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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