I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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