where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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