He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
