I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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