Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
