HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
