My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
