Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
