Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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