I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
