dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
