i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your room smells of hookers.
And success
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
