Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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