So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
