erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
