I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
