His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
