An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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