it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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