Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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