dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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