I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
