final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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