I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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