that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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