I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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