she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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