When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
