she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
