Well douche your snatch and let's go!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
