I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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