clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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