Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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