the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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