yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
