If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
